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Illogical Contraption: Nights After Dark

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Illogical Contraption: Nights After Dark
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All Episodes
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Now displaying: 2016
Dec 19, 2016

Have you been feeling CONFUSED recently? Has reality CRUMBLED around you? Don’t panic! Just sit back, relax, and let Charles and I expose the occultic deep state engines driving the chaos of the world, and why Kim Kardashian of all fucking people is the lynchpin holding everything together.

Dec 5, 2016

Wow it’s a solo show! Subjects rambled about include:  Listener Corrections, Jesus’s True God, Timewave Zero and the Transcendental Object At The End Of Time, Tarot Cards on the 2017 Economist, and Operation Werewolf! It's a good wholesome time for the whole family.  Minimal swears. 

Nov 28, 2016

Tune on, turn out, and drop in as Charles and I pull back the curtain to reveal the physical and metaphysical engines driving the chaos of your present reality. Not gonna spoil the surprises, but this one goes hard in the paint.

Nov 14, 2016
So you think that the Illuminati isn’t real? That our last three presidents haven’t been Satanists? That voodoo magic didn't cause the Trump presidency? Come down here with me, I’ll show you some shit.
Oct 31, 2016

Join Shelby, Al, and Erik for some real straight talk as we wrap up the IllCon Satanic Halloween Comedy Ritual, discuss the nuts and bolts of our super advanced comedy theory, recount the Kubrick exhibit, hit or shit David Icke’s son’s music, and watch in horror as Shelby drinks a pint of tequila in under an hour. WARNING: no actual conspiracy theories are discussed. 

Oct 17, 2016

Join me on a mystical journey where we debunk reality simulations with something even stranger, get heavy with Wikileaks leaks, fuck with new Mandela Effect possibilities, and reveal plans for the coming Illuminati space nation. Come along, if you can handle the truth.

Oct 3, 2016

Topics Include: Weird Warnings / I Am Truthor / You Can’t Handle The Proof / The Girlfriend Represents My Mind / Bohemian Grove Votes Third Party / Meme Magick Of The Alt Right / Baal’s Back / The Program Is Self-Correcting / Question The Reality Of Questioning Reality / Black Slime Creeping Over DC

Sep 19, 2016

Join your hosts Drunk Al and Drunk Erik on a podcast journey that ranges from sports superstitions to psychedelics to the extraterrestrial origins of chess to to the ESL conspiracy metal of Carlos Spartacus. Disclaimer: we are actually drunk and express some strong sports opinions.

Sep 5, 2016

Charles and I dissect the finer points of the global struggle for control of alien technology, occult Masonic influence on trade routes and colonial America, and how UFOs destroyed the SpaceX rocket. What more could you possibly want??

Aug 29, 2016

In this episode, we discuss the Masonic, occult, and/or reptilian angles of Chicago architecture, Usain Bolt, mental competency to stand trial, Hillary vs. conspiracy culture, woke ass comments on MRA videos, first-hand accounts of Alex Jones being weird, Time Travelin’ Trump, and Nikola Tesla’s views on feminism. This episode connects literally everything, so if you like episodes that connect literally everything, u mo b there!

Aug 15, 2016

This episode is about one thing only: Transcendental Meditation. We dive deep into the ocean of pure consciousness and see what kinds of fish are swimming around down there. Put on your scuba gear and let’s roll. 

Aug 8, 2016

It's a solo show! Allow me to ramble to you about our adventures in Las Vegas, the London Bridge in Lake Havasu, and fake Garths. Memes are also described. 

Jul 25, 2016

Wow, we have definitely been day drinking! Join us as we discuss such diverse and wonderful topics as Donald Trumps, Pokemans, and Alan Jackson. This one is chock full of drunken rants, so if you like that sort of thing, the line forms on the left! 

Jul 11, 2016

Come along for the ride while we get weird on synchronicity, occult occurrences surrounding the Dallas shootings, Professor Griff and 13 Bloodlines of the Illuminati, the Hum, and the shielding properties of tin foil! 

Jul 4, 2016

The second half of this amazing two-part episode is also jam-packed with content! We go deep on geographic anomalies and the ways in which those might be influencing our physical reality. Are UFO sightings and paranormal occurrences connected to earth's energies? Are orders of black magicians blackening our ley lines? Is there a secret geographic component to nuclear fission? Tune in to find out!

Jun 27, 2016

The first half of this amazing two-part episode is jam-packed with controversial content! The Brexit! The international establishment opposing it! False flag shootings! Crisis actors! Governments conspiring against their own citizens! Wow! Are we Alex Jones now? Tune in to find out!

Jun 20, 2016

Simulation Theory! The Drake Equation! Nazi Fashion! Native American Leprechauns! White House Garden Solar Alignments! OMG SO MANY TOPICS!

Jun 13, 2016

In this one, we talk about Silicon Valley’s deep influence on America: Eric Schmidt manipulating the election, Peter Thiel bankrupting the media, and Elon Musk’s “one in a billion” chance that we don’t live a holographic reality. We also talk about past lives encroaching on the present and Alex Jones’s siqq Info Wars clothing line. Please do join.

May 30, 2016

Wow, what a episode! Advanced subjects include: Psychic On A Leash! Poltershit! Tom DeLonge And His Unified UFO Theory! David Paulides And His Missing Persons! 19th Century Americana UFO Stories! And many other things! Please enjoy!

May 23, 2016

2 Woke (No Girls) / Skulls For Sale / Back To The Crack / Fourteen Saloons, Two Dance Halls, No Law Enforcement / Psychic Moments / Layers Of Ghost Towns / You Are Not Alone / Describin’ Freedom Lovers

May 9, 2016

Total Bullshit Is Our Bread And Butter / Elvis Is Prince Is Alive / Picture A White Jumpsuit / Intyrely Misremembered / Describin’ Memes: The Meme Dad / Shadow Man On Campus / The Greenbaum Speech / Michael Aquino and the Temple of Set

May 2, 2016

Wiccan Jesus / Archon Elaboration / Lisa Frank Hellscape / It’s A Disney World / Aerosmith Themed Everything / Are You Holy Land Experienced? / The Goat Man Claims Another Victim / Why All Our Celebrities Are Dying / Prince Predicts 9/11

Apr 18, 2016

Welcome to NAD Episode 51, featuring an array of diverse and stimulating topics such as:

How Does A Rainbow Go? / What A Cat Saw / Expounding The Interdimensional Hypothesis / Grey Alien Sex Majick Rituals / Describin’ Gnostic Reptilians / Carl Jung on UFOs / Mini-Bilderberg / The New World Order Commemorative Glock / Earthquake Chat / Name Dropping Moloch / This Chick Is Going Down 

Apr 4, 2016

Dad-Chat HEATS UP in Episode 3: STARING THROUGH THE EYES OF THE DAD!

In this month's installment, Aesop and Shelby are joined by their bestest pal and bandmate Marissa Martinez-Hoadley (Cretin, Repulsion) to make an attempt at not talking about dicks for 90 minutes. Topics include (but are not limited to): A Brief Celebration of the 100th Anniversary of The Elephant Pajama Joke, Psyllium Husk: Dietary Supplement or Prog Band?, Thawing Out The Blue Grape Neanderthal, How We're All Slowly Dying, Metamucinex/Stool-Aid/Shit Knit (Poop Tips with Grampa Dekker), Steve Vai-able Guitarists, Poseballs and How They Apply To Online Fuckstyles, Rihanna Chat, Scissoring Over Star Trek: TNG, The Guy From Obituary's Meth Lab, Brian Playing Frogger, Aesop's Staunch Anti-Immigrant Stance, DADS DON'T GRAVITY BLAST, A 4-Person Mosh Pit In a Fancy Penthouse Apartment, Nuclear Centaur Cock, Fucked With A Porsche, A Garfield Greeting Card Containing an Applebee's Gift Certificate and a Message Reading: "Hey Mom, I'm Transgendered!", Losing A Dick In First Life Whilst Gaining One In Second Life, I Cum Syrup/Waffle House Menu Items That Sound Like Cannibal Corpse Songs, Brony674 Calling QA To Get His Penis Fixed, and of course, everyone's favorite segment Fatherly Advice (featuring "It's A Boy! Or Is It?/Fuck It To Death"). All this and SO MUCH MORE. Wowie zowie what a program!!!

Spoiler: They talk about dicks. A lot.

Music: 
Cannibal Corpse, "Staring Through The Eyes of the Dead"
Cretin, "How To Wreck Your Life In Three Days"

Apr 4, 2016

Fifty Episodes! Wha Happened? In this one: 

Squatchin’ Or Skinwalkin’? / Interdimensional Cryptoids / Biggest Ba’als Of Them All / Psychic Bob And The Hathors / Cleophus Brown Sees A UFO  / Weird Mortuary Rites Of George Bush Sr. / Disney Magic Shuts The Door

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